Floodad

Today, as M mentioned about the flood that hit Thailand, I am reminded about the flood I've experienced as a little kid years back. Honestly, I remember nothing much about the flood other than staying at my uncle's house was pretty exciting and seeing dad in my uncle's singlet sleeping in the other room... then I realized something... how did I get to my uncle's place? Since dad couldn't drive and there was no other way, as you probably would have guessed - yes, we walked. No, wait, more like my parents walked.

The past few days, I have to admit I haven't been very grateful. I sometimes wonder why my parents are being this way, that way and not as open as my other friends' parents. Then today, I realized, my parents walked to my uncle's place that day during the flood. I was too young and too short then and the flood would probably wash me and my brother away. But, my mom and my dad carried us. Dad carried me, the older sister (which means the heavier one) all the way to my uncle's place. Another memory comes rushing into me again... that, I was singing, dad was laughing. It is important to me now to know that because, despite the ongoing flood, we were smiling.

These flood memories almost brought me to tears. It becomes clear to me that my dad has always been that dad that has carried me during the flood. My mom is the same mom who was always taking care of me. Me? I am the same ungrateful girl, smiling and singing in the flood. The same girl who is sometimes so ignorant and fail to see her parents' love.

Now that I slowly see, I feel so guilty. I wish I could be better but yet I don't know how to express this feeling. So I typed it out here, hoping I will feel slightly better.